Last week, I found myself back in Dublin along with thousands of other students looking for a flat. I had been discarded by the Trinity accomodation services and was fortunate enough to have to look for a room in September, the most competitive of months in this respect. My search was crowned in success in under 4 days, but I realised along the way that it is extremely difficult to find somewhere that is both affordable and acceptable, and that prices have been steadily rising since I moved here in 2003.
Finding a place to live in Dublin is akin to a theatrical audition/beauty pageant. It is all about making a lasting first impression which will convince a landlord of your ability to pay the rent and keep a place clean. In these circumstances, being a student evidently does not help, and one is inevitably thanked for one’s interest upon delivering this news in an apologetic fashion. As if being a student wasn’t compatible with normality and responsibility, even more so for us male students who are deemed more likely to burn a house down at the end of a 4-day binge.
Initially, my search took me to public viewings along with dozens of other punters. Once I had shown interest in overpriced bedsits due to a lack of alternatives, I went through the usual rejection process whereby overwhelmed landlords rejected me based on prejudiced first impressions, choosing the most ‘respectable’ of candidates instead (ie. a young professional, a shit-for-brains accountant who likes getting ‘trolleyed’ 3 night a week, living solely for the weekend). Some use scare tactics, doubling or tripling the required deposits to narrow the field down. One memorable character took advantage of the situation and opened a bidding war: “Whoever gives me the most money gets the place.” In this world, students don’t have a chance.Â
Eventually, it becomes clear that second-tier housing is the only remaining option to us low-lives. Here is proof: one letting agent, unaware of my student stigma due to my English accent (which, surprisingly, helps!), told me over the phone that he did have a 2 bedroom flat available but that he couldn’t really show it to me because it could only really be rented to students, and would I please wait for something more suitable to come up, please? So we worthless human beings are left with so-called ‘student housing’, synonymous with ’shit-rundown-cold-dreary-overpriced’. Some of the places on the market are appalling, and it is commonly thought that a student should be grateful enough to be given somewhere to live, and should accept whatever is thrown his way.
The solution, it seems, is for everyone to engage in a show of solidarity with the student population of our wonderful city, and give up all rented housing, and squat in the city centre until all accomodation is done up to standard. Then, and only then, should places be re-allocated randomly, and life can resume. Until then, I will carry on paying 650 Euros a month for the right to live in a damp, dark, dump in Dublin. Savage.        Â